Happy Tuesday, friends! I took some time last night to finish up my answers to the questions you all asked and I’m excited to finally share them with you today!
We’re going to start with the ones that were a little more hard-hitting and then work our way back, sound good?
Why exactly did you call off your engagement? And how did it affect your family and friends? I know everyone is ultimately supportive but I always think at first they will be angry! Admittedly, this question tripped me up a bit when it came to me hitting publish. I opened up about the end of my six-year relationship (and engagement) here, but there is certainly a whole lot more that can be said (and a whole lot that can’t be said in the name of privacy). I really think moving to Chicago changed me and opened my eyes to the things in our relationship that simply weren’t working anymore. I got really sick a few weeks before everything unfolded and it was when I finally came to out of my feverish haze that I had a moment of clarity and I just knew. I realize that might sound crazy to some or cliché, but I don’t really know how else to explain it.
As far as family goes, Pete’s mom and I were incredibly close and I had to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to talk to her every week like I did for years and that was really, really hard for me. I wasn’t only losing my significant other, but an entire family which only amplified the pain. The majority of my family was incredibly supportive in my decision and at the end of the day, they want me to be happy, no matter what that looks like. I don’t think anyone in my family was angry necessarily, but more thrown off? I don’t know if that’s the right word. I think it was really hard for everyone to wrap their mind around because it happened rather abruptly and without much warning (sort of the way I operate once I’ve made my mind up about something).
We shared the same core friend group (and still do for the most part) and both made it a point to make sure that it was never a matter of picking sides. Since he moved back to Kansas City and I’m here in Chicago, it has worked out really well that we’re both still able to maintain those relationships. I’m not sure things would be so smooth if I were living back in Missouri too, ya know?
Do you use dating apps? I think it’s so hard to meet guys in the city! I do use dating apps and I’ll start by saying that some things can’t be unseen (I’m lookin’ at you, Tinder). Which reminds me, did you follow along when Hallie use to do Tinder Tuesdays on Snapchat? I’ve got a major stockpile of content should she ever revive it. 😉 Whenever I post to Instagram stories about my dating debacles (like Chris’ convo with…himself 🤦🏻♀️), my DMs blow up and I absolutely love talking to you guys about navigating the murky waters of Bumble, Hinge, and the like. It’s always nice to know I’m not alone, too!
There are two things I stick by when it comes to using dating apps: I try to keep an open mind and I don’t google people! Unfortunately for me, if I match with someone on Hinge they’ve all of a sudden got my last name and can very easily find out a whole lot about me and ultimately, form an opinion all before meeting me in person. So, I don’t google. My hope is that putting that type of energy out into the universe will get me the same in return! Jury is still out on whether or not this is working for me.
If I were to give one piece of advice (because honestly, that’s all I’m really qualified for as I clearly don’t know what I’m doing…evidenced by my most recent dating encounters), it would be to keep at it. Just like other areas of life, you have to put in the work. I know that sounds boring and calculated when we’re supposed to be talking about making a connection and finding someone to do life with. I think that’s sort of the reality we live in these days.
I talked a little more about dating in the last questions post here. If you have any tips of your own, do share! Girlfriend over here could use all the help she can get. This tweet is the definition of orbiting in the dating world!
How do you eat so many delicious things and still stay skinny? Do you count cals? I’ve been using the myfitnesspal app for years now, but I don’t really count calories there (some days I log 1500 calories there and other days I log 5,784. Kidding, kind of). It’s more for me to document what I’m eating and what workouts I’m doing so that when I’m having a not-so-great day/week/month I can look back. It’s always the wake up call I need to make the adjustments necessary to get myself back on track and feeling better in my skin.
I really love working out (for my body and mind) and make it a point to get to 5 classes a week, so I’ve got that going for me when it comes to keeping the scale in check. I eat when I’m hungry and when I’m eating at home, I try to limit my dairy, added sugar, and gluten. I eat a lot of scrambled eggs, fruit and spinach smoothies, crackers and hummus, peanut better and jelly sandwiches – all very basic things, really.
I would say my relationship with food is complicated and it’s something I’ve been working on. I’ve always been an incredibly picky eater and it frustrates me that my palate is so limited. I like to eat though and I reallyyyy like going out to eat. I also have a really bad habit of over-indulging on the weekends, at events, and on trips, and then find myself having to do a hard reset by cutting back on all the fun stuff I mentioned above in an effort to reverse the damage I did when I would be so much better off finding a balance and exercising some self-control. I’m working my way through The Food Therapist and would recommend it for anyone struggling to find a healthier relationship with food! Planning to share more of my thoughts here once I’ve finished reading.
I’ve been wondering how you afford your fitness lifestyle? I know memberships to fitness studios can be rather pricey, but I think of it as an investment in my health and would even go so far to say that a good sweat sesh is like therapy (or medicine) for me. I also like to think of all the money I spend on social activities (dining and drinks out, etc.) and know that I’d much rather skip out on dinner and drinks out once a week and funnel that money toward classes that will help me feel my best. I touched briefly on how I’m able to go to so many different fitness studios in this post and like I said, it’s a mixed bag! Most of the time I use ClassPass to pop around to my favorite studios in the city (if you sign up using my link, you can get $40 off your first set of credits to take classes with them! Full disclosure: I’ll get credit on my account too 🙂 ). Sometimes I get free classes or discounted classes in exchange for coverage on my blog and social media. If there’s a new studio I haven’t tried before and they don’t offer a complimentary class, I always reach out to see if I can get a free first class and I’d say 90% of the time they’re happy to do it! If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.
How are you able to create this image/video with the sound? Here’s the tutorial on how to screen record! Before the screen record feature stopped working on my phone, I was sharing little clips of the music I was listening to (you can see the music highlight in my bio here). I like that you’re able to get a feel for a song that way and then decide if you want to take the time to go download it. I’ve been to the Genius Bar twice now and they claim the glitch should be fixed with one of the software updates coming up, but I’ve seen two now and still nothing, so who knows.
Do you have your playlist public on Spotify? I love that you guys love music just as much as I do! I’m an Apple music girl and am more than happy to share the links to my playlists if you use the same thing.
I got SO many questions about how I met people in Chicago (my tips on making friends in a new city) and I covered that in this post, but the cliff notes version says get out there and do things you enjoy! (And don’t be afraid to do things alone either).
If there’s anything else you’d like to know, shoot me an email or leave me a comment and I’ll be sure to include it in my next round-up!
Love you, Jessiface!!
Love you more my squiqqly!